Marriage is the song played on a continuous loop around me lately.
In a couple weeks, I’ve got seven wedding invitations from my friends –the friend I’ve never met since several years ago; high school classmates; hanging out friends; my close friend. I’ve never felt sentimental in any wedding before, until the most recent one.
I went to Jakarta in April to attend my close friend’s wedding. I wasn’t surprised to encounter many of his friends there since he is a lively and empathetic person who would warmly welcome any kind of people in his presence. His house is regularly visited by different people, so it is his thing to be surrounded by many people. I myself often asked for his advice for many things: from career to my relationship. He is someone I could turn to for advice when I was frustrated and too emotional to think clearly.
The wedding hall was decorated with fresh flowers. The light was warm and bright, yet the air was tense when they both sat on the aisle chairs. Everybody held their breath as the bride spoke, letting her gentle voice to be the only voice heard in the hall.
“…And today I will marry the man of my choice,” she ended her speech for her parents before the vow began. I was trembling out of the blue. I never really gave it a thought, then a sentimentality suddenly burst out. After this, he would be a husband before anybody’s friend. This moment also marked a change for us as friends as he stepped into the world I would never understand lest I step in myself. He took a distance from his friends to be with the woman of his choice –someone anyone else would never be.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally happy for both of them.
I’m just never used to goodbyes.
I understand that everyone and everything are constantly changing. But knowledge couldn’t help an overwhelmed feeling. I’ve always been fighting to accept that one day our distance will grow further as we walk to the different direction.
I absorbed the cheerful ambience after the vow is spoken. There was a slight relief in his eyes, accompanied by a childlike smile as if finally getting what he’s always wanted. I took a deep breath and encouraged myself to, despite my melancholy, soak in every detail of the happiness.
Since as Og Mandino said, today will never happen again.